Stick a Fork in Me. . .

. . .I'm done. An exhausted hostess can say this at the end of a huge dinner party; or an actor at the end of a multi-city tour. The company dishes are put away; we've cashed the last road check. This is now a PAST experience.

It's far more complex to know whether we're done with a job or career. Are we going through a patch of bad days or creepy supervision or funky balance sheets that halt advancement? Do our down feelings merely reflect our circumstance, or do they point to a deeper DONE meaning for us? Do I weather this? Do I go?

Here are a few signs you may be ready to go:

1. You've moved out. Figuratively, that is. Your body is at work, but your spirit is not; and your behaviors show it. You don't have lunch with your colleagues. You spend too much time in the bathroom or on the phone or the Internet. You don't go out for drinks with work friends anymore, or you show up at holiday parties for the barest minute. In other words, you're physically removing yourself from the social aspects of this place. Big sign that you're done.

2. You've quit. Another biggie. You're practically R.I.P. (retired in place). Your performance has slipped. You do your job, but you're phoning it in; you barely make your goals. You volunteer for nothing. You're mute at meetings. You watch the clock. (Retireee wannabes count the days till they're OUTTA HERE!) Be mindful. Bosses look sharply these days for performance slippage.

Notice this is about your heart and mind. Both are gone. If you see this in yourself, get moving on something else. But change like this is scary, irrespective of the economy's health. Our non-fulfilling job is the devil we know. Who knows, at our age. . .? Nobody's hiring new college grads. I have a family. It's easier to stay.

How to test whether you're ready to go:

1. Tell somebody. Your coach, spouse, friend (not your boss!) How was it to put it out there? Did you pull back into NOT CHANGING or did NEXT appeal to you? Tell some more bodies. See how your thinking changes as you talk about leaving.

2. Reach for NEXT. William Bridges writes about how to manage change, and how we cling to the familiar, even when change is thrust upon us. We have to let go of where we are and what we've been and reach for NEXT, to choose something new. We hate this place of transition. We're uncertain, afraid, and NEXT isn't obvious to us. Just choose something that seems possible for you.

3. Do one thing. Get a college catalog. Review your resume. Make a list of "Musts" and "Wants" for your next iteration. Go see a career coach. Your action will do more to rocket you into NEXT than extended rumination.

At any point, you can leap back into what you already have. You're not ready. It's too dangerous. This will take time. Just be sure to re-choose your NOW. Be in it. Embrace it. Do it like you mean it. If you don't, you'll continue to slip away - heart and mind - and someone may notice and help you go.

Recommended reading: Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes, William Bridges