I was helping a client company evaluate service firms. Two among the contending vendors stand out. The first was a distinguished man in a three-piece suit and a crisp white shirt. Another firm sent two men, each the head of his respective department. One wore a rumpled camel jacket; the second badly needed a haircut. Guess which firm got the business? Distinguished Guy.
The decision was based on his skill, success history and the interest Distinguished Guy displayed in the client's company. But the rumpled guys, despite a high recommendation from a respected professional, never had a chance. Here's why:
1. You can't overcome the visual. Always present yourself in your best light. The garb of one contender who came in shirtsleeves and leather pants telegraphed to the client, "I don't want this contract;" he didn't merit a second thought.
2. Don't assume. Rumpled Guys knew the client's company was plain as toast and had several others like it on their client list, but they assumed a more casual look would be okay. It wasn't. They're in a business that requires exquisite care, and their "Sunday brunch at the Holiday Inn" outfits didn't convey that.
3. Dress one level up when you're making a sales call, giving a speech or trying to impress a potential client or employer. You can dress AT the same level as those you'll call on, but make sure you look as clean and crisp as iceberg lettuce. You STILL have to look a bit sharper than those you'll meet.
4. Don't guess. If you're in doubt, call ahead. If business casual is the order of the day, your Armani suit may be as off-putting as the rumpled apparel was. You never lose points by doing research.
These two firms were among a half dozen who made presentations. Most representatives wore the appropriate haberdashery, though they lacked the Total Package the client was seeking. Distinguished Guy made the sale because the client believed in his competence and his brain; and felt "I will matter" to this firm. . .all of which was underscored in how DG presented himself to the selection committee.
You could argue about the superficiality of making a decision based on how someone dresses, that the client might have overlooked genius because of a three-piece suit. But this is business. You put on the costume of whatever game you signed up for. NOT to do so is to thumb your nose at the team you claim you want to join. Remember Leather Guy.
We are a society DRIVEN by the visual. Remember that if you think your leather pants may be just the ticket for your next business call.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Forward and Gotta
How do you know what to tackle in a day? Methods abound (see below). "Forward and Gotta" is one.
"Gotta" is where most of us live. . . the things we gotta get done today: meetings, administrivia and calls; driving carpool and shopping for dinner. They're tasks worth listing and working at; but they control us. If the "Gotta" list is our sole focus, we wind up living a "default" life; we haven't moved our dreams or projects forward one iota, just shoveled the stuff of our life around.
"Forward" is where achievement lies. . .Making the marketing call that could turn into a sale; completing the college application; setting up a networking meeting. It's the task that moves you towards getting what's important to you. . .the job, money or fame. It's also an uncomfortable place; the more challenging to-do, with a less predictable outcome. Risk lives here, with its possibility for "no."
Try making a daily list, with two columns: "Gotta" and "Forward" head each one. The questions to ask are: (a) What do I have to get done today? and (b) What will move me forward? You're the best judge of forward. "Going to the art museum" sounds banal, but if you're writing a mystery about a murder in an art museum; it's important research and item for the "Forward" list. Your gut knows; follow it.
Make time to do "Forward" every day, probably morning, before the day gets snatched away. "Gotta" has a huge appetite and chomps up the hours. But "Forward." Ah. . .the realization of dreams lives there. You'll also feel you've had a better day if something that mattered to you got done in it.
Other "get it done" methods:
Stephen Covey: Has a quadrant with these headings:
Not urgent but important
Urgent and important;
Urgent but not important
Not urgent and not important
His point is that we should work on "Not urgent but important."
Alan Lakein: Organize all your tasks under A (important), B (not so important) or C (ho-hum). Focus your best energy on completing the "A" area's tasks; use your lowest-energy times on the "C" jobs.
Another: Each day write down the 5 most important things you have to do and complete the first, then the second, and so on. You'll always be completing critical tasks.
"Gotta" is where most of us live. . . the things we gotta get done today: meetings, administrivia and calls; driving carpool and shopping for dinner. They're tasks worth listing and working at; but they control us. If the "Gotta" list is our sole focus, we wind up living a "default" life; we haven't moved our dreams or projects forward one iota, just shoveled the stuff of our life around.
"Forward" is where achievement lies. . .Making the marketing call that could turn into a sale; completing the college application; setting up a networking meeting. It's the task that moves you towards getting what's important to you. . .the job, money or fame. It's also an uncomfortable place; the more challenging to-do, with a less predictable outcome. Risk lives here, with its possibility for "no."
Try making a daily list, with two columns: "Gotta" and "Forward" head each one. The questions to ask are: (a) What do I have to get done today? and (b) What will move me forward? You're the best judge of forward. "Going to the art museum" sounds banal, but if you're writing a mystery about a murder in an art museum; it's important research and item for the "Forward" list. Your gut knows; follow it.
Make time to do "Forward" every day, probably morning, before the day gets snatched away. "Gotta" has a huge appetite and chomps up the hours. But "Forward." Ah. . .the realization of dreams lives there. You'll also feel you've had a better day if something that mattered to you got done in it.
Other "get it done" methods:
Stephen Covey: Has a quadrant with these headings:
Not urgent but important
Urgent and important;
Urgent but not important
Not urgent and not important
His point is that we should work on "Not urgent but important."
Alan Lakein: Organize all your tasks under A (important), B (not so important) or C (ho-hum). Focus your best energy on completing the "A" area's tasks; use your lowest-energy times on the "C" jobs.
Another: Each day write down the 5 most important things you have to do and complete the first, then the second, and so on. You'll always be completing critical tasks.
Monday, January 18, 2010
For Want of a Thank You Note
Remember the nursery rhyme "For want of a nail"? The shoe was lost, all was lost because a nail was lacking (see below).
A friend lost his job in an industry where the shelf life of employees is shorter than milk; and he lasted about twice as long before being downsized. I was beginning to ask another friend if she would network with him when she essentially told me to talk to the hand. She'd helped him get his just-lost job; and he had never sent a thank-you note. Years later, she was still frosted about it. You just don't DO that in the executive world.
His not writing one surprised me because he whips out a note if you dump the burger wrappers for him at the mall eatery. But it was clear that today he has NO access to the best-connected person in his field. All for want of a thank-you note.
In challenging times, things matter more; like being precisely qualified, telling the truth on resumes, and crafting thank-you notes. This is not the time to be lax in minding your manners.
For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a nail.
A friend lost his job in an industry where the shelf life of employees is shorter than milk; and he lasted about twice as long before being downsized. I was beginning to ask another friend if she would network with him when she essentially told me to talk to the hand. She'd helped him get his just-lost job; and he had never sent a thank-you note. Years later, she was still frosted about it. You just don't DO that in the executive world.
His not writing one surprised me because he whips out a note if you dump the burger wrappers for him at the mall eatery. But it was clear that today he has NO access to the best-connected person in his field. All for want of a thank-you note.
In challenging times, things matter more; like being precisely qualified, telling the truth on resumes, and crafting thank-you notes. This is not the time to be lax in minding your manners.
For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a nail.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Don't Let Go
You've settled for a less-than job. You feel you'll be trapped here forever because you need this little bit of money and those few benefit dollars. You watch more of your family members get unemployment handed to them, and you wonder what's the purpose of holding on to your dream. Today is dreary, tomorrow's likely the same. Where are the polished shoes and crisp shirts you love. . .and the work that didn't make you feel ashamed to say you're doing?
Don't let go of your dream. As bad as it is, this awful is truly temporary. BELIEVE it, so you have a reason to leap into your rut today and your next today. If you focus on the awful NOW, that's the same future you'll create, minute by dreary minute. Your decision to take on this work has a kind of nobility to it, giving you a fineness of character, a moral muscle that will stand you in good stead down the road. You're not the first who's stepped down into bagging groceries, driving a boat, swinging a hammer, pulling blood samples; nor are you different/better than those who happily do it the whole year long. You're just here. . .for now.
What will get you through is to remember the dream, and to polish the shoes and to keep the search effort going while you proudly plunk that paycheck on the kitchen table. This is a bad time. Don't make it the end of your world. Stay away from cynicism, bitterness and defeat, and the people who court them. Keep looking toward the dream and what it promises, and do something today to remind yourself of its importance.
The dream deferred is not the dream denied.
Don't let go of your dream. As bad as it is, this awful is truly temporary. BELIEVE it, so you have a reason to leap into your rut today and your next today. If you focus on the awful NOW, that's the same future you'll create, minute by dreary minute. Your decision to take on this work has a kind of nobility to it, giving you a fineness of character, a moral muscle that will stand you in good stead down the road. You're not the first who's stepped down into bagging groceries, driving a boat, swinging a hammer, pulling blood samples; nor are you different/better than those who happily do it the whole year long. You're just here. . .for now.
What will get you through is to remember the dream, and to polish the shoes and to keep the search effort going while you proudly plunk that paycheck on the kitchen table. This is a bad time. Don't make it the end of your world. Stay away from cynicism, bitterness and defeat, and the people who court them. Keep looking toward the dream and what it promises, and do something today to remind yourself of its importance.
The dream deferred is not the dream denied.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Hooray for Steve Williams
Steve Williams is Tiger Woods' caddie. In recent interviews aimed at getting more dirt on the beleaguered golfer, Williams declined to play the bashing game. He essentially said: I worked for the guy, he was always gracious to me, I know nothing about these allegations. . .he's my friend.
What a stand-up guy, and how rare. A microphone in the face is unbearingly alluring with its opportunity for instant, if brief, fame for joining the spread-the-dirt crowd.
How does Steve Williams relate to you? You have constant opportunities at work to bash a co-worker going through a bad time or who's made big mistakes, and it's tempting to join the cubicle crowd in it. Resist the temptation (because you feel a little scummy about yourself when you do make another person the butt of cruel jokes). Be the one who doesn't. Be the one to stand beside someone going through hell. They will never forget the gift of your loyalty and support. And you'll feel better about yourself.
Make Steve Williams your example for how to be a friend.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Be an External Believer
The point of this blog is the importance of having an "external believer." It's the most important work I do with clients. Once you benefit from this believer, you have an obligation to be one for someone else.
In the film "Precious," one of the messages is the power of the "external believer," someone whose belief in you makes you willing to stretch for your possibilties. Its critics have struggled and generally failed to find the right posture about "Precious" because they have no frame of reference for a life so desperately lived. You'd think, though, they'd remember the hands that helped them find their way.
My dissertation was on how survivors of extreme trauma come through coping to resilience. Studies show: (a) traumatized children benefit from surrogate love from a positive adult model; (b) the effects of trauma are less if the child can recruit others' regard and attention; (c) the efforts to help a child overcome effects of abuse will not be successful unless he also works at it; and finally, (d) it is important not to let the individual stay a victim. He or she must do the work of recovery.
There. You've just attended the movie.
The genius of director Lee Daniels was that he so perfectly captured the despair of living in that environment. It recalled his early life. . .mine, too. My family was that poor and our life that ugly. I spent eight years in a children's home and am absolutely the product of people who believed in me. They were mostly the nuns in the orphanage and my high school. They saw and fostered my best qualities and threw open the windows of learning and a stable life to me. Sandwiched between my years at the home were also nuns in my small steel mill town who saw me through indifferent eyes. They were brutal and uncaring, doing their jobs without hope or light. I might have tipped over that razor's edge into poverty's darkness had they been my sole guides.
It was probably predictable that my life's passion would be to help others out of the holes that get punched into their lives, whether it's a career disaster or a struggle to find out "who I am, exactly." I am their "external believer." I see their possibilities with brilliant clarity and point them in that direction. I push and demand accountable action from them, but I know they can realize their dreams because their possibility path is usually so clear to me. There is no point, I believe, in squatting in today's mess.
Clients are grateful after they've done their work and found themselves in a new place, and when I shamelessly enroll them to help current strugglers, I tell them their obligation is to the universe to help someone else, not to me. After all, in working with them, I was really saying "thank you" to Sister Vita, Sister Englebert, Sister Miriam John, Sister Peter Fournier, Sister Alma, Sister Ann Dominic and Sister Isabel. It's a pretty big roster and I have a ways to go in living my gratitude to them.
Be an external believer of others. "Possibility" is the best gift you can give them.
In the film "Precious," one of the messages is the power of the "external believer," someone whose belief in you makes you willing to stretch for your possibilties. Its critics have struggled and generally failed to find the right posture about "Precious" because they have no frame of reference for a life so desperately lived. You'd think, though, they'd remember the hands that helped them find their way.
My dissertation was on how survivors of extreme trauma come through coping to resilience. Studies show: (a) traumatized children benefit from surrogate love from a positive adult model; (b) the effects of trauma are less if the child can recruit others' regard and attention; (c) the efforts to help a child overcome effects of abuse will not be successful unless he also works at it; and finally, (d) it is important not to let the individual stay a victim. He or she must do the work of recovery.
There. You've just attended the movie.
The genius of director Lee Daniels was that he so perfectly captured the despair of living in that environment. It recalled his early life. . .mine, too. My family was that poor and our life that ugly. I spent eight years in a children's home and am absolutely the product of people who believed in me. They were mostly the nuns in the orphanage and my high school. They saw and fostered my best qualities and threw open the windows of learning and a stable life to me. Sandwiched between my years at the home were also nuns in my small steel mill town who saw me through indifferent eyes. They were brutal and uncaring, doing their jobs without hope or light. I might have tipped over that razor's edge into poverty's darkness had they been my sole guides.
It was probably predictable that my life's passion would be to help others out of the holes that get punched into their lives, whether it's a career disaster or a struggle to find out "who I am, exactly." I am their "external believer." I see their possibilities with brilliant clarity and point them in that direction. I push and demand accountable action from them, but I know they can realize their dreams because their possibility path is usually so clear to me. There is no point, I believe, in squatting in today's mess.
Clients are grateful after they've done their work and found themselves in a new place, and when I shamelessly enroll them to help current strugglers, I tell them their obligation is to the universe to help someone else, not to me. After all, in working with them, I was really saying "thank you" to Sister Vita, Sister Englebert, Sister Miriam John, Sister Peter Fournier, Sister Alma, Sister Ann Dominic and Sister Isabel. It's a pretty big roster and I have a ways to go in living my gratitude to them.
Be an external believer of others. "Possibility" is the best gift you can give them.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Phone Interview: What It Means, How to Do It
You have an appointment for a telephone interview with a potential employer. What does that interview mean to the company? What are they looking for? What can you do to make the interview go great for YOU?
What It Means
Your interviewer could be the hiring manager, a young HR rep, an executive recruiter. The quality of the interview will vary widely. It could be a crisp 20-minute conversation, an unfocused 30 minutes, or an hour-long behavioral interview. They should tell you about time and type, but be sure to ask. Here's what the call for a pre-screen interview means:
1. You could be one of 5 or 25 they're telephoning. Depends on the job and the extent of the search.
2. You've made it past the first stack of resumes. You have the essential qualifications they'd arrayed in a grid. They have a few questions.
3. They want to see how you tell your story. Do you communicate well? How do you answer the questions they had about you? (an element of your experience; why you left a promising position; the depth of your technical/functional knowledge). Do they like what they hear about you (a subjective but important piece of information about you)?
4. The main question: Should we take you to the next level in our hiring process? For an executive or search position, that could be the in-depth behavioral interview, which is a phone interview with a scalpel. . .and you're the patient. For other positions, the "next level" is an in-person interview.
How to Do a Phone Interview Well
Your very best has to come across in these few minutes.
Note: If this is to be a Skype or video interview, some of the following won't apply. Pacing, for example, would be bad. You must prepare as if this were an in-person interview.
1. Be prepared. In general, you won't be given a chance to ask questions about the company or the job, but learn about the company anyway. It'll INFORM your responses.
2. Be prepared. Ask how long the interview will be.
3. Be prepared. Know your story. Imagine what they're looking for and how you should convey your possession of those qualities in those few minutes. The night before the interview, have someone "mock interview" you. Practice giving a chronology of your work experience (in 10 or 15 minutes). Answer the question you hope they don't ask. The role of the interviewer is ONLY to ask you those two things, and at its end to ask YOU how you felt you did. Most people don't know what interviewers are looking for and will give you bad advice. THE POINT OF THIS IS FOR YOU TO GET COMFORTABLE TELLING YOUR STORY. If they have SPHR behind their name (a professional HR designation) AND they've interviewed a zillion candidates, it might be okay to hear their counsel. Trust me, your mom won't know.
4. Be prepared. Set up a private interview space. You cannot be ON if children have access to you; if someone's playing Wi next to you; if "Dancing with the Stars" is competing for your attention. Stay away from your computer, too. It's a distraction (and I promise your distraction will be experienced by the interviewer, not in a good way). Go to your bedroom or basement. Have only things around you that make you feel great (you might have to make your bed). You are NOT to be disturbed unless aliens have landed and figured out your garage door code.
5. Be prepared. Your voice is your primary instrument here. Give it its best chance. A couple of hours before the interview, go for a run or brisk walk or workout, exercise that will get your heart pumping and lungs swelling. This energy will jump through the phone. Take a shower. Sing your favorite songs at the top of your lungs. You want to feel alive and fine. . .and to convey that.
6. Be prepared. Put on business casual clothes so you FEEL business-like. The subtle comes across 'way stronger than you might imagine.
7. Be prepared. Interview while standing, if you can. . .THAT energy also comes across. Or have a chair that requires you to sit up. Have eyes shut if it gets you more focused on the other. Pace, if that helps (but no stomping or heavy breathing!) Do whatever makes you feel THERE with the interviewer. When I do phone coaching with clients, I have to be seated at a desk with pen and paper at hand, and I take notes. They get my best attention that way. What works for you?
8. Be prepared. Respect the time given to you. You will NOT charm the interviewer if you go on and on. You could be cut off in the midst of your favorite story about yourself. Let the driver decide if s/he wants to stretch out the time.
9. Be prepared. At the end of the interview, ask what the next step is. Will they be contacting you? Should you check in with them? Thank the interviewer, by name, and express your appreciation for the opportunity.
10. Oh, and. . .be prepared. Your level of understanding and preparation will get you into that company's office faster than the next smart phone upgrade.
Good luck!
What It Means
Your interviewer could be the hiring manager, a young HR rep, an executive recruiter. The quality of the interview will vary widely. It could be a crisp 20-minute conversation, an unfocused 30 minutes, or an hour-long behavioral interview. They should tell you about time and type, but be sure to ask. Here's what the call for a pre-screen interview means:
1. You could be one of 5 or 25 they're telephoning. Depends on the job and the extent of the search.
2. You've made it past the first stack of resumes. You have the essential qualifications they'd arrayed in a grid. They have a few questions.
3. They want to see how you tell your story. Do you communicate well? How do you answer the questions they had about you? (an element of your experience; why you left a promising position; the depth of your technical/functional knowledge). Do they like what they hear about you (a subjective but important piece of information about you)?
4. The main question: Should we take you to the next level in our hiring process? For an executive or search position, that could be the in-depth behavioral interview, which is a phone interview with a scalpel. . .and you're the patient. For other positions, the "next level" is an in-person interview.
How to Do a Phone Interview Well
Your very best has to come across in these few minutes.
Note: If this is to be a Skype or video interview, some of the following won't apply. Pacing, for example, would be bad. You must prepare as if this were an in-person interview.
1. Be prepared. In general, you won't be given a chance to ask questions about the company or the job, but learn about the company anyway. It'll INFORM your responses.
2. Be prepared. Ask how long the interview will be.
3. Be prepared. Know your story. Imagine what they're looking for and how you should convey your possession of those qualities in those few minutes. The night before the interview, have someone "mock interview" you. Practice giving a chronology of your work experience (in 10 or 15 minutes). Answer the question you hope they don't ask. The role of the interviewer is ONLY to ask you those two things, and at its end to ask YOU how you felt you did. Most people don't know what interviewers are looking for and will give you bad advice. THE POINT OF THIS IS FOR YOU TO GET COMFORTABLE TELLING YOUR STORY. If they have SPHR behind their name (a professional HR designation) AND they've interviewed a zillion candidates, it might be okay to hear their counsel. Trust me, your mom won't know.
4. Be prepared. Set up a private interview space. You cannot be ON if children have access to you; if someone's playing Wi next to you; if "Dancing with the Stars" is competing for your attention. Stay away from your computer, too. It's a distraction (and I promise your distraction will be experienced by the interviewer, not in a good way). Go to your bedroom or basement. Have only things around you that make you feel great (you might have to make your bed). You are NOT to be disturbed unless aliens have landed and figured out your garage door code.
5. Be prepared. Your voice is your primary instrument here. Give it its best chance. A couple of hours before the interview, go for a run or brisk walk or workout, exercise that will get your heart pumping and lungs swelling. This energy will jump through the phone. Take a shower. Sing your favorite songs at the top of your lungs. You want to feel alive and fine. . .and to convey that.
6. Be prepared. Put on business casual clothes so you FEEL business-like. The subtle comes across 'way stronger than you might imagine.
7. Be prepared. Interview while standing, if you can. . .THAT energy also comes across. Or have a chair that requires you to sit up. Have eyes shut if it gets you more focused on the other. Pace, if that helps (but no stomping or heavy breathing!) Do whatever makes you feel THERE with the interviewer. When I do phone coaching with clients, I have to be seated at a desk with pen and paper at hand, and I take notes. They get my best attention that way. What works for you?
8. Be prepared. Respect the time given to you. You will NOT charm the interviewer if you go on and on. You could be cut off in the midst of your favorite story about yourself. Let the driver decide if s/he wants to stretch out the time.
9. Be prepared. At the end of the interview, ask what the next step is. Will they be contacting you? Should you check in with them? Thank the interviewer, by name, and express your appreciation for the opportunity.
10. Oh, and. . .be prepared. Your level of understanding and preparation will get you into that company's office faster than the next smart phone upgrade.
Good luck!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
